And I am so grateful for the let up in pace.

I had a wee adventure to close it out and its always a great chance for reflection.

I cycled from Inverness to Aviemore via the Dava Moor. I stayed in a nice Hotel as I feel I did enough bagged sleeping this summer. I visited CrossFit Cairnrgorm and then got the train home. I really like these micro adventures.

I had been running at 100% capacity over summer – saying yes to all the plans, and its a pattern that pretty much always repeats.

The bill arrived and now I need to pay for those late nights, early mornings, poor sleep, weather beaten adventures.

There is only so long you can run at that close to your maximal load before something begins to fail.

These last few weeks I’ve been finding all sorts of way to reduce my load on things that are not fixed commitments. I still need to work and coach but what can I reduce? Some examples:

• volume or amount of the music im listening to
• scroll less (actually deleted ig for 2 weeks)
• eat less exciting foods.
• eat less exciting foods.
• Not doing extra.

Just generally reduce the stimulation on my body to allow my mind to recover.

I get to this point and think maybe I would do something differently next year – but whats the alternative? Not having all those amazing experiences, stories and moments.

Its a common fear that you might die – but what about never living. That feels much scarier. So for another summer – i think I really lived. I summermaxxed.

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Next Chapter

For me – September – December feels like the bit before. I am starting a new project and my life looks really different.

For the last 2 years I have worked insanely hard and for extended periods of time – why? well it is for this.

I have been building experience, connections and a bank balance to allow me to go down to 3 days a week in my new role and to free up some mental capacity to open my own gym and community space.

This has genuinely been a life goal of mine. To create somewhere I would want to go and connect.

Its based on the concept of Moai – a Okinawan idea of community and groups and the impact it can have on your longevity and life.

This feels crazy to say to be honest, and I am not sure I have really stopped to think and congratulate myself on this as it is just kind of slowly happening.

For my work to believe that I am a worthwhile employee that they are willing to make accommodations to keep me there. That feels awesome.

For me to have worked and saved and sacrificed enough funds to hopefully be able to do this without debt. That is bloody crazy.

I know the real work is around the corner but this feels like it is work I can and want to be in.

Lean Into It – Out Sunday

So this feels pretty scary to be honest.

I wrote a book when I was really going through it a few years ago. It never started out as a book – It was just me journaling pretty intensely off the back of having a break up and a family death and being left alone with my thoughts in a different country.

As I started writing it became a bit more structured and I played around with the flow of it and the themes. I was seeing how I was dealing with things but also some tools I had used throughout my life to prepare me for this moment which had been – at least in my head – the worst days of my life.

I wrote it – got the artwork and felt really driven to do something with it in that moment – then life got in the way and its now been 2 years gathering literal dust – and driving me a little crazy.

One of my motos is do the thing – and this has been me not doing the thing for so long. Its at a point now where not putting it out there would cause me more frustration so I need to, for my own sanity, do something with it. There’s a few reasons why its been slow:

I dont feel that connected to the person who wrote it. I was in such a different space there and I really needed to do that and share in that moment. It was really healing for me.

How my friend explained it to me though – was just because you’ve done higher maths – doesnt mean people dont still need some guidance through higher maths.

And that’s who i wrote it for – Me a few years ago. In the depths of ICAS exams, working a job I really hated, questioning my sense of self and what I stood for, going through emotional turbulence and not really feeling like I had the tools to navigate any of this.

I compare that version of me to what I feel now – where things can still feel tough – but at my core – I feel ready to take things on as they come and I feel pretty centred in myself and my purpose.

I know things still come up that can overwhelm me but often these are self inflicted and only temporary versus where I felt in those moments was pretty stuck.

The themes explored are through my personal story and things I’ve experienced – I guess its the only way I know how to share these lessons is through some background. They arent provided for sympathy but hopefully to connect to the reader as I dont feel my experiences are unique – none of ours are really.

Know – Some tools to devleop a better understanding of yourself.

Accept – What are your quirks, the things that set you off? AT a bare minimum can you accept these and If you see them what tools can you use to try build new habits and routines.

Love – Tools to fill your cup

Share – Give to others from the over flowing cup

A little reflection a year on and how things are always ever changing but you can use the tools in the book to learn a little more about yourself and identify anything thats not serving you and develop some new thoughts to move you through to overflowing with love.

Its really vulnerable and I’m trying now not to over think it and just get it out there – perfectionism is a bad habit that im trying to break and lead with doing the thing.